Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Saved By The Bell Drinking Game

Every blog needs a recurring theme, right? So let's make Wednesday (AKA Hump Day to all you fans of double entendres) the day that I provide you with a new idea and rules for a drinking game. I mean, any excuse to drink mid-week, eh? Last week I gave you two ideas, you greedy bastards. This week, I'm already going to try to look at the world through something other than cinema-colored glasses, and move to the smaller screen. I give you:

Saved by the Bell Drinking Game

You can pick any episode or any season of DVDs. I have them all and have watched them all, and all episodes work. I also find that it's best to invite people over to your house for a slumber party for this game because it reminds you of watching this show in middle school. Also, my drink of choice for this game is Andre (the beer of champagnes).

Drink when:
- Zack directly addresses the camera (and drink double when Zack does a time out and stops time to talk to the camera)
- Slater calls Zack "Preppy"
- Slater calls Jessie "Mama"
- Jessie is offended by something sexist
- Lisa is annoyed by Screech
- Screech mugs for the camera
- Kelly enters wearing a cheerleading outfit

Waterfall when:
- The opening credits play
- The gang is learning a life lesson
- Mr. Belding talks
- It's a Tori episode


In case you haven't realized yet, the purpose of any of my drinking games is to get you wasted within 15 minutes of the game starting. You're welcome.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

The Tom Awards Lifetime Achievement: Woody Allen

At some point, I decided that I was going to see every movie made by Woody Allen. There are a few directors that I've thought about doing this with (and a few that I've already succeeded in doing this with, e.g. P.T. Anderson and Wes Anderson) but I felt that Woody was a good choice because he is so prolific, has spanned a few decades, and is always a good conversation starter.

I actually typed up a list a while back where I ranked his movies, and was going to try to post that here (is that considered blog-cheating?) But I can't find it and so I'll have to make the list again. The cool thing about this list (and I said it when I made the original one) is that the movies can move higher and lower on the list depending on your mood. The great thing about Woody Allen is that he rarely makes a movie that is irredeemable. Other than the last two, I think you can pretty much get something out of all of his movies.

I do not view some of his classics with rose-colored glasses and you will notice some of them further down on the list than possibly expected. In general (as you can see by the dates of each movie) I do believe that his best work is behind him. But even this decade he's made some incredibly interesting and intelligent movies. So I'll continue to go see each movie until he stops making them.

The Best
Stardust Memories (1980)
Broadway Danny Rose (1984)
The Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)
Interiors (1978)
Manhattan (1979)
Annie Hall (1977)
Bullets Over Broadway (1994)
Everyone Says I Love You (1996)
Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)

Really Good
Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)
Sweet and Lowdown (1999)
Manhattan Murder Mystery (1993)
Vicky Cristina Barcelona (2008)
Take the Money and Run (1969)
September (1987)
Deconstructing Harry (1997)
Match Point (2005)

Worth Seeing
Mighty Aphrodite (1995)
A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy (1982)
Shadows and Fog (1991)
Zelig (1983)
Love and Death (1975)
What's Up, Tiger Lily? (1966)
Alice (1990)
Radio Days (1987)
Every Thing You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask (1972)
Sleeper (1973)
Small Time Crooks (2000)
Melinda and Melinda (2004)

Mainly for the Passionate
Cassandra's Dream (2007)
Another Woman (1988)
Husbands and Wives (1992)
The Curse of the Jade Scorpion (2001)
Whatever Works (2009)
Bananas (1971)
Anything Else (2003)
Hollywood Ending (2002)

Failures
Scoop (2006)
Celebrity (1998)

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Cinema + Booze = My Kind of Math

Passion of the Christ Communion Drinking Game

Ingredients
1 box of Ritz crackers (or Saltines if you want a drier experience)
1 jug of Carlo Rossi wine (this is non-negotiable)
1 copy of The Passion of the Christ
1 home theater system
3-12 heathens

1. Hand out crackers and pour wine for all guests.
2. Begin watching The Passion of the Christ.
3. Eat a cracker and drink anytime there is blood on screen or if anyone is offended at Mel Gibson's take on religion.
4. Refill wine 3 minutes into film.
5. Repeat 6 minutes into film.
6. Repeat.

This was kind of how this all went down when I tried it back in 2004, when my friend worked at a movie theater and let me bring some pals to try this game out at midnight after the last showing (she was the manager and just respooled the movie and let us watch it when the theater closed). But it was a bit of a disaster. We thought the movie was going to be much more ridiculous. Instead, it was merely brutal. I was expecting to laugh at Gibson's racist opus, but I just felt sick from watching one of the bloodiest films ever made. But you should know that I am a huge fan of drinking games, and when you combine it with my other love (cinema) then great things can often happen. For instance:

Mamma Mia! Drinking Game

Ingredients
1 amount of any type of alcohol
1 anything to hold alcohol
1 copy of Mamma Mia!
1 something to view the movie on
Friends (if desired)

1. Chug alcohol
2. Watch Mamma Mia!
3. Experience pure joy.

I tried that recipe 6 times in theaters over the summer of 2008, and a few more times in the comfort of my own home since then, and I have to say this recipe has never failed.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Tom Awards for the Top 10 Performances of the Decade

To piggyback on yesterday's post.

(In Alphabetical Order)


Cate Blanchett, I’m Not There – In many cases, biopics merely get impersonations from their actors. Cate Blanchett, such a compelling actress in everything she does, is at her most fascinating in this movie. There are tons of great performances in this movie, but you cannot take your eyes of Blanchett during her portion. Bravo to Todd Haynes for making this happen.


Penelope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona – Woody Allen is famous for getting some great performances out of people (he has directed 15 people to Oscar nominations) but one complaint I have with him is that he can just as easily get copycats who mimic previous Allen-directed performances. And that’s why I love Cruz in this movie. It was the freshest performance in a Woody Allen movie in years, and possibly the most vibrant and passionate performance in any of his movies.


Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood – Day-Lewis is almost always the best thing about any movie he appears in. Even with all the greatness going on in this movie, that statement might still hold true here. I can’t imagine anyone else pulling off this role like he did.


Sally Hawkins, Happy-Go-Lucky – God, I love this performance. This movie is really good on its own, but it wouldn’t have been possible without an effervescent performance at the center. Like almost everyone who saw this movie, I feel in love with Hawkins as the eternal optimist who isn’t as naïve as she might originally seem. If I were ranking these performances, she’d be in the top 3. If you haven’t seen this movie, go right now to a place where videotapes or film are sold or rented and buy it or rent and watch it. It is delightful.


Philip Seymour Hoffman, Synecdoche, New York – Hoffman is arguably the best living actor, and really any of his performances could’ve ended up on this list, he’s that good (seriously, what a decade for him—Almost Famous, 25th Hour, Capote, The Savages, Charlie Wilson’s War, and Doubt… each of them worthy performances for this list). But more so than any of those, Hoffman really does hold this movie together. He gives a perfect, sad performance, which is exactly what this movie required.


Mary McDonnell, Donnie Darko –Donnie asks his mom “How’s it feel having a wacko for a son?” McDonnell smiles and replies, “It feels wonderful.” My heart breaks at that moment. In a movie with almost universally fantastic acting (ahem, Drew Barrymore), McDonnell rises above with the most devastating role and performance.


James Cameron Mitchell, Hedwig and the Angry Inch – Easily my favorite performance of the decade. It’s obvious that the years of performing this role on stage has allowed Mitchell to completely inhabit this part. He is hysterical when he needs to be, but by the end of the movie he will wreck you. It's sad to think that Mitchell probably won’t ever have another chance to do something this good, but at least having this astounding performance is more than the majority of actors can ever claim.


Mark Ruffalo, You Can Count On Me – I recently watched this movie again to confirm that I still loved Ruffalo in this. I’m so glad I did. He’s even better than I remembered. Laura Linney is fantastic as well as his sister, but Ruffalo is alternately hysterical and heart-breaking. He is both realistic and quirky, something I don’t know if I’ve ever seen another person pull off quite like this.


Meryl Streep, Adaptation – This movie changed my opinion about Meryl Streep, and for that I am incredibly indebted. I’m not sure how it was lost on me up until this point that Meryl Streep is the greatest thing EVER, but the scene where she and Chris Cooper combine their voices to make a dial tone is one of my favorite moments in cinema, and not in little part because of Streep.


Naomi Watts, Mulholland Drive – I like this movie, and it really only took a second viewing 10 years after my initial one to realize that the movie really isn't as labyrinthine as people think. I think the real complexity here is Naomi Watts's performance. The scene where her character auditions and has changed completely from her original rehearsal earlier in the film is mesmerizing. She's done a lot since this movie, but I don’t think she’s ever been as good.

Monday, May 24, 2010

The Tom Awards for the Top 20 Movies of the Decade

To get things started, I figured I'd post something I've written recently that should give you a good idea of where I stand on things, cinema-wise. It's my Top 20 from the past 10 years.


20. The Saddest Music in the World (2003) – Guy Maddin is one of the most clever and inventive directors out there. And this is probably his best movie so far, at least of his movies I've seen. His aesthetics are odd and unique, and I honestly was surprised I was so into them. He has a great knowledge of cinema history like Tarantino but a much more specific style. The best way to describe this particular movie is intoxicating (and not just because the plot is about beer). Side note, if you're not sure about committing to a feature-length film by this guy (he can be polarizing) then start with his short film The Heart of the World which will introduce you to Maddin’s style in 5 hyper-brilliant minutes.


19. Me and You and Everyone We Know (2005) – Miranda July’s quaint little picture seems slight and fleeting, but it stuck with me even years later. It’s touching, funny, a little off, and delightful. It comes across like a series of interconnected short stories (which is fitting since July also wrote the short story collection No One Belongs Here More Than You, which is one of the best pieces of literature of the past decade). July is a charmer, and her movie is too.


18. Requiem for a Dream (2000) – I went into this movie unprepared, watching it by myself one rainy night. It was a harrowing experience. This is one of the most effective depictions of addiction, especially the spellbinding performance by Ellen Burstyn. Darren Aronofsky makes consistently interesting movies, but this is by far his most impressive one.


17. Y Tu Mama Tambien (2001) – This movie is hot. It’s a coming of age tale, a political allegory, and a buddy picture. It works on many levels, and the simple story that it originally appears to be quickly turns out to be so much more (Cuaron’s script is pretty genius). Oh, and this movie brought Gael Garcia Bernal into my life, so mad props for that.


16. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004) – This is hands down my favorite comedy of the decade. I considered some of the “better” movies that Apatow was involved with (40-Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up) but when I want to laugh my ass off, this is the movie I put on. Will Ferrell is ridonkulous and at his most hilarious here, and don’t underestimate the able support from Paul Rudd and Steve Carrell. It’s a perfect comedy whose only fault is that they didn’t use Christina Applegate as well as they could have.


15. Waltz with Bashir (2008) – This is one of the best movies about war ever made. It’s a striking meditation on memory and trauma, and does more to show the (sur)reality of war than all the Saving Private Ryans out there. Add into this the stunning animation and brilliantly original visuals, and you have a documentary that I’m flabbergasted didn’t get more attention.


14. Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003) – I never read the books and I am not really big on fanboy nerdom stuff, but I did see each of these movies in the theater and left each time thinking I had just watched great entertainment. Obviously, there were many problems throughout the series (how could there not be in 9 hours of cinema?) but the great stuff overpowered the weaknesses. Oh, and I don’t consider it cheating to have all three movies listed as one, so shove it.


13. The Royal Tenenbaums (2001) – Wes Anderson only makes movies that range from very good to great, and The Royal Tenenbaums is his best of this decade (although it’s not as good as Rushmore, and The Fantastic Mr. Fox snuck up on me and almost grabbed the top spot for my favorite film of 2009). It’s nice to know that everytime Anderson makes a movie, you’re going to get to see the art of a brilliant control freak. While the cast sometimes seems to be working at different speeds, nothing ever strays too far from fitting exactly into Anderson’s vision. Also, this is the first time he worked with Anjelica Huston, who I feel is some sort of awesome muse for him.


12. Monster's Inc. (2001) – While everyone creams their shorts over every Pixar movie (and I am one of them) I’m always surprised at how much I have to defend this one. Other than the Toy Stories, I think this is the pinnacle of Pixar. It certainly is the best at mixing both comedy and a heartwarming story, and the climactic chase with the characters riding doors like a roller coaster is as great as any action scene. And John Goodman, always so underrated, gives one of my favorite voice performances ever in this movie.


11. Moulin Rouge! (2001) – I’ve almost wrote a paper on this in college (and I still might one day) but I think the brilliance of Moulin Rouge! is that it is a spectacle that defines cinema. This movie starts with cliché, but then transforms it using all the tools that only a film could unanimously employ. The plot, were this just a novel, would be trite, predictable, and disposable. So Baz Luhrmann then builds upon this by adding music, kinetic editing, colorful art and set direction, all together to work in a way that no other single medium can achieve. This movie is a celebration of cinema.


10. Mamma Mia! (2008) – Fuck you, I love this movie. This is my Top 20 of the decade, so if you don’t like it then make your own list. I’m not saying this is the BEST, but it’s certainly one of my favorites of all time and I would feel untrue to myself if I left this off my list. I know many people will argue that this isn’t worthy of being one of the 10 best movies of the 2000s, or that I shouldn't include a movie that (despite seeing it over 10 times now, 6 of which were in the theater) I have yet to watch sober. But I also doubt that there are many people out there who didn’t feel an explosion of joy watching this movie. This movie just exploded in me a little more than the rest of the world. Suck it.


9. Children of Men (2006) – I’m normally not big on dystopian sci-fi movies, but Alfonso Cuaron (who is the only director to make two appearances on my list) has made a movie that people will be talking about for decades after this one. He is a technical master, but everything he does serves the overall purpose of the movie. Those two incredible long takes are great examples of this—you’re not just thinking that this is a really cool movie, you’re also riveted to the story. It’s masterful storytelling by a virtuoso.


8. City of God (2002) – I remember being assigned to see this movie for a class on children and violence and, having heard nothing about it, assumed it was going to be a small, cheap little movie. I don’t think I’ve ever been so blown away by incorrect assumptions. This movie is as stylized and impressive a feat of film-making as a Tarantino movie (and as violent) but with an added weight due to its serious subject matter. The Oscars rarely get things right, but one of the most impressive nominations they gave was remembering Fernando Meirelles that year for best director.


7. Kill Bill Vols 1 & 2 (2003-2004) – Quentin Tarantino is probably America’s best living director. He will never make a movie that isn’t worth watching. Inglourious Basterds (the best film of 2009) and even Death Proof (with the most smile-inducing climax to any movie this decade) were so good that I considered them for this list, but nothing he did in the past 10 years matches the intensity and scope of the Kill Bills. After waiting 6 years between his previous movie and the first installment of this, I started to get scared that he wouldn’t be able to live up to the expectations. But these movies are his best outside of Pulp Fiction and are insanely rewatchable, a key Tarantino trait.


6. Spirited Away (2001) – I was surprised by the number of animated films that made it in my Top 20, but I couldn’t imagine a list without this movie. It is such an imaginative film that really has nothing you can compare to it (the closest things would be other Miyazaki movies). Rarely is a movie so completely spell-binding with every single frame. Without a strong background in Japanese culture, I’m sure tons of this movie is lost on me. But that just goes to show what a fantastic film this is when, despite only having a percentage of it truly register, it is this fascinating to watch.


5. Donnie Darko (2001) – How I love this highly imperfect film. It’s a polarizing movie, and I totally understand why lots of people don’t like it. But it really works for me. The plot is convoluted and ultimately silly, but the atmosphere and the characters are so well-developed that I forgive all the shortcomings. In fact, I might love this movie all the more because of its imperfections. I’ve seen this movie at least a dozen times and it’s never diminished.


4. There Will Be Blood (2007) – This movie left me stunned. Rarely does a movie (especially recently) live up to its status as epic. But between Daniel Day-Lewis’s performance, Johnny Greenwood’s score (which might as well be a character in its own right), and Robert Elswit’s well-deserved Oscar-winning cinematography, I think this is going to be the movie that an entire generation latches onto as one of their defining films. It is both a period piece and a political statement about America at the start of a new century 100 years after it takes place.


3. Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001) – I was so uninterested in this movie when I heard about it. A rock opera about a European transsexual? But when I finally saw it, I was floored. The soundtrack alone qualifies this as one of the greatest musicals ever made (oh, but that’s another list). It’s hysterically funny (so many sly asides and throw away jokes that take multiple viewings to fully appreciate) and a brutally heartbreaking love story. This is the most unique movie in my Top 20.


2. Angels in America (2003) – This HBO miniseries (shut up, I’m counting it for this list as a movie) is one of the greatest pieces of art ever made. I don’t think that’s hyperbole. I don’t think there’s anything else out there that is 6 hours long but I would drop everything in a second to watch in its entirety. Meryl Streep, Emma Thompson, and Mary-Louise Parker all in the same movie? My brain almost exploded. But it really is the quality of Tony Kushner’s writing that makes this movie so superb.


1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) – Is it the greatest romance ever? Maybe. With fantastic performances from the entire cast (but especially Kate Winslet), this movie makes one of the most profound statements on love out there (my last name gives me the clout to make that comment). Charlie Kaufman is definitely my favorite screenwriter, and this is his best movie of the decade. And Michel Gondry is so startlingly original and creative that he is the perfect partner for Kaufman’s brilliance. There is no other way to put it: I love this movie.